Before you go

Just where you think you’re headed

Takin your picture off of the wall

Screw it all

My reserves are being depleted

You came in the window and walked out the door

Cant stay but still wont leave

I’m walking out and hittin the town

Drinking and smoking and bleeding

Its time to build this broken wall

Patch the holes you made there

I think I get it, got it good

Should no longer fucking care

About your problems your neuroses

I am not your shrink my dear

I will not be your safety blanket to use

When youre covered in fear

Leave my body out of this

It’s will is not its own

It answers your call when i would not

But my,my mind has grown
Override that lust is what I must

Do, thats what they’ve said

But let me know

Before you go

Just where you think you’re headed

She’s too good to me, too good to me

A friend when I’m in need

A bandage when I bleed

I can’t look in her eyes and see any lies

She’s always there, always there and I

Can’t refuse her smile

She heals me for awhile

I see in her the truth, so wise

Wiser than her years, wiser than her years

She kisses away my tears

She eases all of my fears

She’s too good to me, too good to me

More than I can ever be

More than anyone else sees

She’s always there, always there for me

I’ll keep her close, never let her go

I can only hope that I can show her

What she means to me.

I never thought I’d see the day
When I could smile and laugh again
I never thought I’d find a way
To want more than just friends
But here I am with a silly grin
My mood no longer blue
Here I am living again
And all it took was you
Weve only known each other weeks
We’re just starting this dance
It feels like a hundred years
Since you taught me to take a chance
I dont know where this will lead
Not sure where our road will go
All I know is how happy you make me
And that I adore you so!

I looked up to the sky tonight

Saw you standing there, its all in my mind

Wondering if you’re thinking of me or if

You’ve left me far behind

I have moved on like a river

Flowing one direction, never backwards

The only thing I still see in these ashes

Is your image and what we shared

Come on dreams, take me back

To the place I can’t go in the daylight

We’ve both traveled down different roads

We’ve chosen to fight different fights

But in the air I can still feel you

Only once in a bitter while

I take a deep breath and walk on

Put on this bright new smile

And I move on.

As the sun rises in the east I watch you sleep,  imagining the scenes playing through your mind and wondering if I’m there. I know soon you’ll wake with that silly smile and kiss me good morning…our day will start and mine will be a little bit better because it started with you. I’ve never felt so alive, so cherished, so wanted…noone has ever made me feel so beautiful, and you do it effortlessly, with only a glance. When I’m afraid, you hold me and I know that I’m protected. When I am hurting, you hold me and somehow the pain doesn’t seem so bad. I want to stay in your arms forever, but alas, we cannot spend our lives in bed. We must get up, and separate long enough to go make our marks on the world…but at the end of the day, know that I’ll be here waiting for your sweet embrace again, waiting to see myself in your eyes again, knowing that I am the reason for your amazing smile.

I love you.

PRIDE

How am I supposed to keep this pride of mine

When you drag my heart on down the line

with you, takin it to the next level of hell

I don’t know this place I’m at right now

You know I miss you but gotta put a brave face

on, and never let it show.Well,

My friends are now our friends and

so I tiptoe and let them see a smile, when down inside

I still feel like I should cry. But I’ll continue this charade,

Never let appearances fade,

and nod when they tell me to let it go

I am still holdin’ it in, drink my drinks and my beers,

haven’t screamed like this in years,

And still I won’t let my fears, show.

I use my music to express it, but it won’t take away the regrets, and it

still hurts my heart to see you with her

I don’t know how to keep a brave face and give you that space

and still not let it bother

My pride.

I need a remedy for the pain in my head and in my heavy heart.

I need wide, open spaces and and endless road.

I need the warmth of an embrace and the laughter of my friends.

I need to lie on the cool grass and watch the clouds fly by.

I need to see children playing and remember what innocence felt like.

I need to embrace my love of music, let the rhythms take over my pulse, and give my burdened heart a break.

I need to read a fairytale, and remember that happy endings are possible.

I need to find inner peace. Only then will I feel healed.

50th

Anniversary

of

“The Day

The Music

Died”

(sources: Yahoo news,Wikipedia,VH1’s The Day The Music Died, & more)
 
The Day the Music Died refers to a plane crash occurring just after 1:00 a.m. local time on February 3, 1959, near Clear Lake, Iowa, United States. The crash killed three American rock and roll musicians: Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and J. P. “The Big Bopper” Richardson, as well as the pilot, Roger Peterson. The term was popularized by Don McLean in his 1971 song “American Pie”.
 
Events leading up to the crash
“The Winter Dance Party” was a tour that was set to cover 24 Midwestern cities in three weeks. A logistical problem with the tour was the amount of travel, as the distance between venues was not a priority when scheduling each performance. For example, the tour would start at venue A, travel 200 miles (320 km) to venue B, and travel back 170 miles (270 km) to venue C, which was only 30 miles (48 km) from venue A. Adding to the disarray, the tour bus used to carry the musicians was ill-prepared for the weather; its heating system broke shortly after the tour began. Drummer Carl Bunch developed a severe case of frostbitten feet while on the bus and was taken to a local hospital. As he recovered, Buddy Holly and Ritchie Valens took turns with the drums.
The Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, Iowa was never intended to be a stop on the tour, but promoters, hoping to fill an open date, called the manager of the ballroom at the time and offered him the show. He accepted and the date of the show was set for February 2.
By the time Buddy Holly arrived at the ballroom that evening, he was frustrated with the tour bus and told his bandmates that, once the show was over, they should try to charter a plane to get to the next stop on the tour, Moorhead, Minnesota. According to VH-1’s Behind the Music: The Day the Music Died, Holly was also upset that he had run out of clean undershirts, socks, and underwear. He needed to do some laundry before the next performance, and the local laundromat in Clear Lake was closed that day.
Flight arrangements were made with Roger Peterson, 21, a local pilot who worked for Dwyer Flying Service in Mason City, Iowa. A fee of $36 per person was charged for the single engine Beechcraft Bonanza B35 (V-tail), registration N3794N (later reassigned). The Bonanza could seat three passengers in addition to the pilot.
Richardson had developed a case of the flu during the tour and asked one of Holly’s bandmates, Waylon Jenningss, for his seat on the plane; Jennings agreed to give up the seat. When Holly learned that Jennings wasn’t going to fly, he said, “Well, I hope your ol’ bus freezes up.” Jennings responded, “Well, I hope your ol’ plane crashes.” This exchange of words, though made in jest at the time, haunted Jennings for the rest of his life.
Ritchie Valens had never flown in a small plane before, and asked Holly’s remaining bandmate on the plane, Tommy Allsupp, for the seat. Tommy said “I’ll flip ya for the remaining seat.” Contrary to what is seen in biographical movies, that coin tosss did not happen at the airport shortly before takeoff, nor did Buddy Holly toss it. The toss happened at the ballroom shortly before departure to the airport, and the coin was tossed by a DJ who was working the concert that night. Valens won a seat on the plane.
Dion DiMucci of Dion & The Belmonts, who was the fourth headline performer on the tour, was approached to join the flight as well; however, the price of $36 was too much. Dion had heard his parents argue for years over the $36 rent for their apartment and could not bring himself to pay an entire month’s rent for a short plane ride.

The crash

At approximately 1:00 AM Central Time on February 3, the plane took off from Mason City Municipal Airport. Around 1:05, Jerry Dwyer, the owner of Dwyer Flying Service, could see the lights of the plane start to descend from the sky to the ground. At the time, he thought it was an optical illusion because of the curvature of the Earth and the horizon.
The pilot, Roger Peterson, was expected to file his flight plan once the plane was airborne, but Peterson never called the tower. Repeated attempts by Dwyer to contact his pilot failed. By 3:30 AM, when the airport at Fargo had not heard from Peterson, Dwyer contacted authorities and reported the aircraft missing.
Around 9:15 in the morning, Dwyer took off in another small plane to fly Peterson’s intended route. A short time later Dwyer spotted the wreckage in a cornfield belonging to Albert Juhl, about 5 miles northwest of the airport. The manager of the Surf Ballroom, who drove the performers to the airport and witnessed the plane taking off made the positive identification of the performers.
The Bonanza was at a slight downward angle and banked to the right when it struck the ground at around 170 miles per hour (270 km/h). The plane tumbled and skidded another 570 feet (170 m) across the frozen landscape before the crumpled ball of wreckage piled against a wire fence at the edge of the property. The bodies of Holly and Valens lay near the plane, Richardson was thrown into a neighboring cornfield, and Peterson remained trapped inside. All four had died instantly from “gross trauma” to the brain, the county coroner Ralph Smiley declared.

RIP Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and The Big Bopper! Your influence in music will always be recognized.  – Carla

 
Just because I laugh and smile
Doesn’t mean that I don’t cry
Just because I didn’t tell the truth
Doesn’t mean I perpetually lie
Just because you see me out
Doesn’t mean I’m not holding it in
And just because I seem an angel
Doesn’t mean that I don’t sin
Just because
Just because
 
Just because you can’t see my loss
Doesn’t mean I have it all
Just because I’ve learned to walk
Doesn’t mean I haven’t crawled
Just because I haven’t called
Doesn’t mean that I won’t speak
And just because I seem this strong
Doesn’t mean that I’m not weak
Just because
Just because 

She’s a cold hearted woman

A black widow to say the least

 She’ll do anything she has to

To keep you on a leash

She plays it wild and careless

To her its all a game

She’ll sex you up in a drunken rush

Then tomorrow forget your name

You’ll try and try to escape

Her maddening maze of lies

But she’s smart enough to stop

Your oh so useless tries

Shes a bitch, a whore, a slut

But she’ll be your best friend

She knows she has to hold on

Until your pride comes to an end

She wants to walk all over you

In her 5 inch spiked heels

Before you know it, she’s through with you

No matter how it feels

Beware of this bitch I tell you

She is not what she seems

She’ll scheme she’ll trick she’ll lie

And fuck up all of your dreams.